Obama: "I've just read a book that made a lot of sense."
"The Secret."
"If you speak it, it will come true."
"One word equals one job."
"I'm going to give a lot of speeches with a lot of words so I can create a lot of jobs."
"And I'm not going to stop until theres a job for every man, woman, and child."
"Except minorities."
"According to quantum physics, the mere act of looking at something or speaking at or about something changes it."
"So I'm gonna take a good, hard look at the economy..."
"...and keep on talking until it gets better."
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
My Dad Had A Jab...
My dad had a jab that was so fast you wouldn't see it until he was pulling back.
That's insanity sauce.
The pillar of the community is just the guy who didn't get caught.
I don't complain about any psychological damage my parents may have cause me, because I know I've caused them more.
"Who believes in superstitions? 'Step on a crack, break your mother's back'? I mean, c'mon."
"I don't know, when I stepped on her crack, I broke your mother's back."
What if God treated humans like pet dogs?
Make driving more dangerous to make drivers drive more safely. Instead of seatbelts, we should have metal spikes sticking out of the steering wheel.
As a kid, all you had to do to get out of trouble was act confused.
Gone cruisin' Still boozin' Lalapaloozin'
And that, my friend, is the snap, crackle, and pop of women.
That's insanity sauce.
The pillar of the community is just the guy who didn't get caught.
I don't complain about any psychological damage my parents may have cause me, because I know I've caused them more.
"Who believes in superstitions? 'Step on a crack, break your mother's back'? I mean, c'mon."
"I don't know, when I stepped on her crack, I broke your mother's back."
What if God treated humans like pet dogs?
Make driving more dangerous to make drivers drive more safely. Instead of seatbelts, we should have metal spikes sticking out of the steering wheel.
As a kid, all you had to do to get out of trouble was act confused.
Gone cruisin' Still boozin' Lalapaloozin'
And that, my friend, is the snap, crackle, and pop of women.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
The Only Problem...
The only problem with the Catholic Churchis that the altar boys won't keep their mouths shut.
How did Reverand Jim Jones convince his followers to commit suicide? I can't even convince my wife to try anal sex.
Not the land of milk and honey, but the land of milk-skinned honeys.
The last time I saw balls that big, it was rolling after Indiana Jones.
Men can fuck a girl even while crying over the one they just broke up with.
Don't love me because of who I am. Love me despite who I am.
All balls, no brains.
I'm fucking CArol on the outside, but I'm fucking Lisa on the inside.
"She's a pig."
"I like pigs."
Columbus left to discover America to get away from a nagging wife and crying children.
How did Reverand Jim Jones convince his followers to commit suicide? I can't even convince my wife to try anal sex.
Not the land of milk and honey, but the land of milk-skinned honeys.
The last time I saw balls that big, it was rolling after Indiana Jones.
Men can fuck a girl even while crying over the one they just broke up with.
Don't love me because of who I am. Love me despite who I am.
All balls, no brains.
I'm fucking CArol on the outside, but I'm fucking Lisa on the inside.
"She's a pig."
"I like pigs."
Columbus left to discover America to get away from a nagging wife and crying children.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Building Freeways...
If you build freeways that need to be expanded no sooner than when they're done... you might be an El Pasoan.
Leave them wanting less.
Still empty inside.
The time is coming when summer will ask your body what you've been doing all winter.
Duchene For President! On the Surprise Party ticket.
I think it depends on the country you're in, and the laws they've passed, and who you hand the paperbag filled with money to.
If dolphins and whales are so smart, then why haven't they figured out to stay away from the Japanese?
I'm healthy as a horse, as long as it's a very sick horse.
I'm healthy as a horse, if it's one of those dead horses from HBO's canceled drama "Luck."
I'm healthy as a horse, if it's that horse's head from "The Godfather."
thethingaboutwomen.blogspot.com
Leave them wanting less.
Still empty inside.
The time is coming when summer will ask your body what you've been doing all winter.
Duchene For President! On the Surprise Party ticket.
I think it depends on the country you're in, and the laws they've passed, and who you hand the paperbag filled with money to.
If dolphins and whales are so smart, then why haven't they figured out to stay away from the Japanese?
I'm healthy as a horse, as long as it's a very sick horse.
I'm healthy as a horse, if it's one of those dead horses from HBO's canceled drama "Luck."
I'm healthy as a horse, if it's that horse's head from "The Godfather."
thethingaboutwomen.blogspot.com
Saturday, May 5, 2012
You Won't Enjoy Yourself
You won't enjoy yourself. Your heart will break, and you'll sit around masturbating to thoughts of her. And if you don't, I will.
It's not true that if you Google NAMBLA a picture of Michael Jackson comes up.
I don't understand how someone can be harrassed to the point they want to take their own life. I can understand, however, how someone can be harrassed to the point they want to take someone else's life. Primarily, the life of the one doing the harrassing.
No amount of bullying should lead to someone killing themselves. It should lead to that someone killing someone else.
You want to sit at the "cool" table at school? Here's how you do it: You pick a table, sit down, and then decide that's the cool table.
In the animal kingdom, the male of the species is prettier and more colorful. Why isn't the female of the species as pretty or as colorful? Because she has the pussy.
In the animal kingdom, it's only in the human species that the female is prettier than the male.
In the animal kingdom, the female might be prettier, but she's physically inferior, and, without the male to protect her and provide for her, she would soon become extinct.
Made from the finest polyester imported from Italy.
Every woman he meets he thinks she wants him.
The Problem With Women @
thethingaboutwomen.blogspot.com
jimduchene.blogspot.com
@JimDuchene
It's not true that if you Google NAMBLA a picture of Michael Jackson comes up.
I don't understand how someone can be harrassed to the point they want to take their own life. I can understand, however, how someone can be harrassed to the point they want to take someone else's life. Primarily, the life of the one doing the harrassing.
No amount of bullying should lead to someone killing themselves. It should lead to that someone killing someone else.
You want to sit at the "cool" table at school? Here's how you do it: You pick a table, sit down, and then decide that's the cool table.
In the animal kingdom, the male of the species is prettier and more colorful. Why isn't the female of the species as pretty or as colorful? Because she has the pussy.
In the animal kingdom, it's only in the human species that the female is prettier than the male.
In the animal kingdom, the female might be prettier, but she's physically inferior, and, without the male to protect her and provide for her, she would soon become extinct.
Made from the finest polyester imported from Italy.
Every woman he meets he thinks she wants him.
The Problem With Women @
thethingaboutwomen.blogspot.com
jimduchene.blogspot.com
@JimDuchene
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Pigs Are Smarter Than...
Pigs are smarter than dogs. When they're being slaughtered, you can hear them screaming: "Please, no!"
Congress is making it legal to eat horse. I say we should eat whatever we have too much of.
I don't understand how some cultures can worship cows. They're so stupid, so fat... so delicious.
I can, however, understand why ancient Egyptians worshiped cats. Their aloofness makes them seem smart and majestic. Personally, I think cats are the Alzheimer sufferers of the animal kingdom.
I can even understand worshiping animals that are strong and can kill you. But cows? No.
Was that, like, two years ago? I think I saw that.
Yessir Arabcat.
President Obama has brokered a peace deal between cats and dogs who have fought and hated each other for thousands of years.
I tried crying, it didn't work, but you never know.
Bill Clinton was my political mentor. If there's one thing I learned from Clinton, it was that if you give a prostitute money to go buy drugs... she won't come back.
thethingaboutwomen.blogspot.com
Congress is making it legal to eat horse. I say we should eat whatever we have too much of.
I don't understand how some cultures can worship cows. They're so stupid, so fat... so delicious.
I can, however, understand why ancient Egyptians worshiped cats. Their aloofness makes them seem smart and majestic. Personally, I think cats are the Alzheimer sufferers of the animal kingdom.
I can even understand worshiping animals that are strong and can kill you. But cows? No.
Was that, like, two years ago? I think I saw that.
Yessir Arabcat.
President Obama has brokered a peace deal between cats and dogs who have fought and hated each other for thousands of years.
I tried crying, it didn't work, but you never know.
Bill Clinton was my political mentor. If there's one thing I learned from Clinton, it was that if you give a prostitute money to go buy drugs... she won't come back.
thethingaboutwomen.blogspot.com
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Aroma Therapy For Women
Money--an aphrodisiac
Just wave a few twenty dollar bills under her nose to catch the scent and watch her come to life. (Coins have no effect. Neither do dollar bills, unless you're at a strip club.)
Fur--power
It makes her want to be around one of those type of men who are born every minute.
Make-up--old age
Coming fast at her like a diesal truck going downhill without any brakes. It better be love, because she's not going to get better looking as she gets older.
Housework--revulsion
She loves a clean house. As long as someone else is doing the cleaning.
Cooking--revulsion
She prefers eating out. But don't expect her to pull out her wallet.
Husband's Paycheck--hunger
Makes her want to gobble up as much of it as she possibly can. After marriage, it becomes the only thing she's willing to blow.
New Shoes--hoarding
The only thing she loves more than a new pair of shoes is a...
Diamond--sex
You gave it to her, now she knows she's got to give it to you.
New Baby Smell--security
She knows she has her hold over her a man for all eternity.
Pussy--discomfort
A smell she wants her husband to become less and less familiar with. Especially her own.
New Pussy--ignorance
A woman doesn't mind her man cheating on her, she minds finding out he's cheating on her.
Just wave a few twenty dollar bills under her nose to catch the scent and watch her come to life. (Coins have no effect. Neither do dollar bills, unless you're at a strip club.)
Fur--power
It makes her want to be around one of those type of men who are born every minute.
Make-up--old age
Coming fast at her like a diesal truck going downhill without any brakes. It better be love, because she's not going to get better looking as she gets older.
Housework--revulsion
She loves a clean house. As long as someone else is doing the cleaning.
Cooking--revulsion
She prefers eating out. But don't expect her to pull out her wallet.
Husband's Paycheck--hunger
Makes her want to gobble up as much of it as she possibly can. After marriage, it becomes the only thing she's willing to blow.
New Shoes--hoarding
The only thing she loves more than a new pair of shoes is a...
Diamond--sex
You gave it to her, now she knows she's got to give it to you.
New Baby Smell--security
She knows she has her hold over her a man for all eternity.
Pussy--discomfort
A smell she wants her husband to become less and less familiar with. Especially her own.
New Pussy--ignorance
A woman doesn't mind her man cheating on her, she minds finding out he's cheating on her.
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