Male Enhancement

Male Enhancement:  When you're man enough to admit you're not man enough.

I was as unwelcome as Ted Bundy at a sororiety mixer.

Peanut Butter Legs:  brown, smooth, and easy to spread.

Your pussy works about as good as Bob Dole's arm.

You know what I like in a woman?  Me.

I'm gonna hit you so hard, when you wake up your clothes are going to be out of style.

Her pussy is easier to get into than a community college.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I have to kill in the process.

I've always found it curious that many will argue that God is a woman, but no one will dispute that the Devil is a man.

Oxytocin/Female - Vasopressin/Male

All This Must Pass

I'm ill.

You  da man, ma'am.

This too shall pass.

"I want a lawyer."
     "I bet you do."

You're working on your marriage?  Let me know when you take a little time off.

"20% success rate of conviction."
     "Drug killings."

I'm not jealous.  I'm happy.  (For you.)

Live by the dope.  Die by the gun.

A night time with Venus.  A lifetime with Mercury.

You're one hot little piece of chicken.

Shave A Little...

Shave a little.  I could grow potatoes in there.

I don't call them wives.  I call them slaves.

I don't like having sex with any of my ex-wives.  How can I fuck and keep one hand on my wallet at the same time.

I showed up later than Snooki's period.

If Adam knew how much trouble women were going to be, he would have left her back in Eden.

The only thing worse than a bad piece of ass, is NO piece of ass.

I'll ride you like a moped.

...owah  ...tenaz  ...siam

A piece of raw liver in my fist couldn't have fit me better.

Horny little hooch.

Questioning The Suspect

Whenever a couple has a problem, the man's solution is always to ignore it.

Don't let marriage get in the way of a good time.

It was the Goddess Nike who said:  "Just do it."

It's people with opinions like yours that make me glad in-breeding isn't a common practice.

My divorce was like the Civil War.  Long, bitter, costly...  but in the end I was a free man.

Bill Z. Bubb, Louis Cypher, Richard Sukker, Bob Oso.

A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke, doesn't want one bad enough.

I reckon he never had a poke he didn't have to milk first.

Quit going to San Francisco for your prostate exams.

What do you mean by saying that the best part about drinking and driving is the breathalyser test?

Her Cookie

As loose as the hole between my ex-wife's legs.

She could suck the pork from a pig.

Body by Butterball.

Man, some of my ex-wife's sisters look hot.

If you look at another girl, and think you'd like to do her...  you're not ready.

Who knew that after you got married your libido would still work?

So, when you go down on her...  how do I taste?

Next thing you know, you're on the linoleum.

Loose as a goose with no juice.

My balls were hanging like the breasts of a 90 year-old hooker.